


Astraphobia

by Imagining_in_the_Margins



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Astraphobia, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Phobias, Self-Insert, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagining_in_the_Margins/pseuds/Imagining_in_the_Margins
Summary: SSA Reader and Spencer share their most embarrassing fears.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 117





	Astraphobia

Why is it when we speak of love, so often it involves the rain?

It never made sense to me. Sure, rain on its own can be calming, but what about storms? They can only exist with rain, yet we refer to them as the wrath of God.

So why do we romanticize the rain with the destruction it accompanies? A storm is a welcome companion, with bitter wind and static heat.

It’s bullshit.

“It’s really coming down out there, huh?”

Spencer’s voice beside me broke through my reverie. He had followed my gaze out the large glass window of the hotel lobby, lost in the sheets of rain fast approaching.

“Yeah. Looks like a storm is coming in,” I pointed out the obvious.

He turned to me with that curious lopsided smile he always had when he was thinking too hard about something.

“Did you know at any given time there are approximately 2,000 storms occurring somewhere on the Earth?”

I did not. Didn’t like that fact one bit, either. Deadpan, I replied, “Aren’t we lucky.”

“I guess. Truth be told, I’ve never really been a fan of storms at night.”

The comfort I took in his admission could not be understated. So often I felt like an idiot for being scared of storms, despite the fact they are objectively scary. I mean… hail and lightning are terrifying, not to mention tornados!

To hear that bonafide genius Spencer Reid is also not a fan of them? It’s comforting.

A small smile tugged at my cheeks as I leaned over to him, speaking out the side of my mouth so that the others wouldn’t hear, “That makes two of us.”

“Hey everyone.” Hotch’s voice commanded our attention. Spencer and I turned to him, but my eyes were still stuck on the window.

“I hate to do this to you, but because all the flights were canceled the hotel is running low on rooms. We’ll have to double up.”

There were vague flashes of light dissipating through the distant, dark clouds. I could barely focus on anything else, especially not something as asinine as room assignments.

“(Y/n)?” It was Spencer’s hushed voice as he leaned over to me, trying not to draw attention.

I snapped back to reality, turning to him with an awkward, “Yes?”

“Are you okay? You seem distracted.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, shrugging and readjusting my cardigan to cover the goosebumps on my skin from the sounds of rain falling on the glass besides us. “I’m fine.”

“Reid and (y/l/n), you can take the last room.”

Wait, what? I turned to Hotch as he held out two keycards to us.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve roomed with Spencer in the past. But it was a _long_ time ago.

I remember when I first made the decision, viewing him as the safest candidate. I mean, he is so unassuming… and gentle… and sweet… and cute.

Okay, you see the problem?

“Me? Room… with Spencer?” I mumbled, hesitating to take the cards from our boss.

“Is that a problem?”

I let the words hang in the air for a moment, and I could see Spencer awkwardly shifting next to me. Shit, I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, too.

“Uhhh no. No, that’s not a problem.” 

I just wasn’t looking forward to him figuring out that I’m scared of thunderstorms like a little kid. I don’t really think he’d judge me, per se, but he’s just also not the best at keeping secrets.

It’d take 10 words in one rant for him to accidentally spill the beans to the team. I guess it’s not the worst thing in the world.

“Sorry, I guess I distracted both of us.” He sounded so guilty, which made _me_ feel guilty.

“It’s okay,” I laughed, “You just better not snore like Prentiss.”

“I heard that!” The woman shouted from across the lobby, already heading to her shared room with JJ. I waved back, chuckling once again at the way she glared at me with feigned animosity.

“I definitely don’t,” Spencer replied much quieter this time. “But even if I did, I doubt you’ll be able to hear me over the storm.”

“… Right.” I mumbled, glancing back at the storm clouds rolling in with a newfound urgency. “Well, let’s go I guess.”

It didn’t take long to get settled in the room. I don’t know why Spencer suddenly was okay with me staying in the bed closest to the door, since before he always seemed hesitant. I guess he had that chivalrous idea that if somewhere were to break in, he would want to be the first they encountered.

But I was just grateful, because I really, _really_ didn’t want to be by the window.

Still, as he walked out of the bathroom dressed in a shirt and shorts, I tried not to stare at him. I had seen this man practically naked before, but it still affected me greatly to see him comfy and sleepy, ready to drift off in the bed a few feet away from me. He noticed me looking over at him, and suddenly stopped in front of me.

“You know,” I started with a stiff laugh, pulling at my own summer pajamas like it would make the fabric cover more of myself.

“Whenever we have to share a hotel room with one another I always expect to walk in and find there’s only one bed.”

He looked at me with a crooked smile, like the idea was so far-fetched it was practically foreign to him.

“ _Why_?” He asked as he laughed.

I shrugged, a warm smile as I mentioned, “Always seems to work out that way in fiction.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that tonight.”

Chewing softly on my lip, I clarified, “I didn’t say I was worried about it, I just… expect it.”

“So what you’re saying is…” His tone told me he was ready to joke, which was a welcome distraction. But the way he sat down on my bed next to me was even _more_ distracting. I looked up at him nervously as he finished, “You’re disappointed?”

 ** _Yes!_** I screamed to myself, but the word that left my mouth was more like a squeak

“No!”

My face burned with blood as he smiled at how easy it was to tease me. Silence fell between us, and I wondered what he was waiting for.

But then it happened.

The thunder roared outside for the first time that night. My hands on the bed tightened, moving the sheets under Spencer’s hand. He noticed, but didn’t mention it.

“Did you know thunder can only be heard for approximately ten miles from a lightning strike?”

If that was supposed to be comforting, it was not. “Yeah, actually,” I replied, “I did know that one.”

A few moments of peace and quiet spread out, but I couldn’t enjoy them. Because I was just worried for the next lightning strike to signal more crashing in the sky.

“You’re doing that thing again.”

Turning to him with a far-off look, I cleared my throat. “Sorry, what?”

“(Y/n)… I don’t want to offend you but…” Spencer was biting his lip now, like he was trying to decide if it was worth it to get his ass kicked if he asked me what was on his mind.

“A-Are you afraid of thunder?”

“ ** _No_**.” I responded immediately and much too loud to be convincing.

Suddenly, I physically jumped in my spot as my body tensed in response to the blast of thunder reverberating through the sky.

“…Are you sure?” He sounded more unsure than he should have. It was pretty obvious at this point, so I wasn’t going to pretend anymore. After all, it would be way more embarrassing if he told everyone I wouldn’t even admit to it.

“ ** _Yes_**. I’m not scared of _thunder_.” I clarified, “I’m scared of _storms_. Storms are terrifying.”

Spencer had this stupid, goofy grin on his face that he was trying to hide. Narrowing my eyes, I warned, “… Why are you smiling like that?”

That wiped the look off his face… just to replace it with a different type of smile. This time, he was pleased _and_ scared.

“Nothing. I’m not smiling,” he very much lied. 

“Don’t make fun of me!” I whined, picking up a pillow and swatting it at him. Managing to land a direct hit on his face, he grabbed the pillow, laughing hysterically as he squealed.

“I’m not—! Hey! Stop hitting me!”

I stood up to get a better swing, but it only resulted in giving him better leverage. With one swift motion, he grabbed the pillow and yanked it over his head, pulling me with it.

I landed unceremoniously half on top of him, laughing all the same before rolling off of him onto the bed where we now both laid, staring at the ceiling. 

When the thunder sounded again, my hands shot up to cover my head, and Spencer looked at me with a sympathetic gaze. Ugh. Stop that.

“You think I’m a wuss.”

He chuckled, shifting his body so that he was facing me, his head propped up on his hand. “(Y/n), _everyone_ knows I’m the wuss on the team.”

“You’re not scared of storms,” I pouted. 

“No, I’m not.”

“So why don’t you like them?” I pressed, hoping that he would say anything to make me feel less pathetic than being more of a wuss than the self-identified wuss. _Although, truthfully, he’s not that much of a wuss at all. I think he can be quite brave._

“You know, clouds are huge. Like, they look soft, effortless, and light when they’re in the sky. But a cumulus cloud can weigh in excess of _one million pounds_. When they’re saturated, they’re even heavier. And not only are they heavier, they’re _denser_.”

I nodded, wondering how this was supposed to make me feel better and not just _more terrified_.

“The denser the clouds are, the less likely it is that the sunlight will be able to make it through the mixture of ice crystals, hail, and water. Which means that the sunlight is essentially swallowed by the cloud. And we’re just… left here. With no sun. And at night, we don’t even have the light from any of the other stars.”

Putting two and two together, I concluded, “So… you’re scared of the dark?”

Now it was his turn to pout, running his hand through his hair as he mumbled, “Kind of… I guess.”

Like a hypocrite, I smiled, but I prefaced my bubbly grin with a phrase to lighten any pity.

“That’s… actually really cute, Spencer.”

Any reply he might have had was covered by the cracking of thunder, growing ever closer and much, much louder. I winced, curling up into myself on the bed as a fine tremor ran through my body.

“Hey,” he started, “I have an idea.”

With that, he jumped out of the bed, walking over to his own and tugging the covers off the mattress. Confused and fascinated, I laughed as he collected them and dragged them back to where we were. Climbing on the bed, he began to fasten the edges of the sheet to the bedframe.

Was he… Was he making a _blanket fort_?

I just let him, my voice too wrecked by giggles and amazement to speak. A few times he turned back to me, enjoying the way I seemed to relax in this moment.

“Well, if you’re not going to help, you should get under the covers,” he teased.

Deciding to leave it up to the apparent expert, I crawled underneath the sheet and tucked myself in under the original covers. I couldn’t stop laughing, unable to believe just how ridiculously adorable he could be. 

Soon enough he had joined me under the sheets, turning off the light before he did so.

“Wait a second!” I nearly shouted, pulling my phone out and turning on the flashlight. I laid it behind me, the glow reflecting off the crisp white sheets to create a soft, warm glow underneath the sheets.

“That’s better,” I said with a sigh.

Spencer was staring at me again, and unlike him, he wasn’t talking. In fact, he seemed to be really enjoying laying here with me just like this. Still, I selfishly wanted to hear his voice. It always calmed me down.

“Talk to me about something not storm related,” I murmured.

“Like what?” He asked, as if he didn’t randomly go on tangents almost all the time. Really, man? You can’t think of anything? I almost asked him what was distracting him, but then realized that it… might be me.

“I don’t know. Use that big ol’ brain of yours.”

“Okay. You’re scared. I can relate to that. How about I tell you some ways I’ve found that actually help calm me down?”

He accepted my small nod as a sign to continue.

“Okay… So, first there is the common advice to take slow, deep breaths. But I’ve personally found that it’s just as easy to hyperventilate by not exhaling long enough. So that’s out. Another is to admit that you’re scared out loud. We’ve… already done that.”

He averted his gaze for a moment, as if the connection we were forming was getting too hard to bear.

“We can’t follow the advice to go outside or get some exercise, since… you know, it’s storming. And I have a feeling the psychotherapy options won’t be all that effective on two profilers.”

“That’s probably true,” I laughed, “I’d just tell you to screw off.”

He implicitly agreed, tight lipped and amused. But then he relaxed, locking his eyes with mine again as I saw the proverbial light bulb go off in his mind.

“Then there’s…” He stopped mid-sentence, and from the look on his face, he was not planning on continuing.

He wasn’t getting off that easy. “What?”

“Well, there’s another one but I-I haven’t tried it since I was a kid.”

I think I know where this is going, but I wanted to hear him say it.

“What is it?”

“Oxytocin.”

My pulse immediately spiked as he said it, and I felt the breath catch in my throat.

“It’s just a simple hormone that’s secreted by the pituitary gland, which is also responsible for regulating the adrenals and your thyroid, which in turn means it controls adrenaline and cortisol – two hormones that are linked to fear and anxiety. It’s mostly important in labor, birth, and nursing, but… It has other uses.”

I could feel my hands shaking as he spoke, itching to reach out and touch him. Just give me the word, Spencer. _Please_.

“Regular physical contact with s-someone you… l-like… or trust, can lower your blood pressure, regulate your sleep cycle, lead to fewer nightmares, and strengthen your immune system.”

The words seemed like they were blocking something he really wanted to say. Like he was scared to reach a conclusion, he just ranted instead.

“It lowers your cortisol. So,” he paused, his breath shaking as he finished, “When you’re scared or stressed. It would theoretically help to… touch someone you… like.”

With small yet quick movements, I moved my hand. It settled against his chest over his shirt, his heart fluttering like a hummingbird under my touch.

“Like… this?”

His eyes widened just enough for me to notice a minute change in the size of his pupils. I wondered if it was just because of the light shifting from my movement, or really something more.

“Yeah. But it’s… generally most beneficial with…” He started with labored breaths. I tried to read the changes in his heart, but it seemed to be drowned out by my own.

“W-with uh, s-skin to skin contact. But. If this works, it… it’s good enough.”

The look I was giving him is one that could only be described as wonder. Trying to ask myself if it was working enough, a clap of thunder soon burst directly above us.

I ducked forward, my head hitting his chest. My hand moved downward, slipping under his shirt and resting against the tense muscles of his stomach.

“L-like this, th-then?”

This time, he was the one to move. His legs shifted towards mine, the bare skin of his calves rubbing against my own.

I felt a flood of comfort wash over me. His arm snaked around my waist under my top, resting softly against the small of my back.

He seemed so scared, like I would tell him he was crossing a line at any moment. But the truth was… I wanted to cross that line.

It had been months of painful longing for this man to notice me. I mean, he noticed me. He made that kind of obvious. But he had never done… this.

Lifting my chin and backing up ever so slightly, I looked up at him. It’s hard to tell how flushed he really was, as well as the cause. After all, cuddling under covers can get quite warm.

You know how people say they see stars in your eyes? Well I saw lightning in Spencer’s. It was quick bursts of light, tearing down from the heavens as a reminder to the earth that the two are connected.

And when he leaned down towards me, I felt tingling on my skin akin to the pitter patter of a gentle rainstorm. His fingers pressed gently into my skin like the rain beats down on the earth.

But when Spencer’s lips touched mine, it felt quiet. Muted.

He had barely brushed them against mine before they were gone again. Yet he didn’t move or go to apologize. Our lips hung between us the same way your heart knows to prepare for thunder when it sees the lightning strike.

But maybe Spencer has just never been a thunder type of guy. Maybe sometimes thunder was a woman.

I didn’t even notice the way it sounded in the background. There was no flinching or fear related to the storm outside when I pressed my lips against his.

This time it was firm, expressing an undeniable desire and passion. His body tensed at first, but then immediately relaxed to a point it hadn’t yet reached. 

Our bodies became even more tangled, the renewed energy between us filling the space beneath the covers in a cloud of warmth and comfort.

His tongue swept across my lip, asking me to share breath with him the same way storms borrow wind from the area around it.

I agreed, opening my mouth to accept him. He fervently replied by bringing our bodies even closer together, a hand finding its way to my cheek and holding me like I would be blown away by the force of it all.

Energy crackled between us, the sounds of rustling sheets and heavy breath suddenly louder than the storm outside.

Until eventually, they ceased. We ran out of breath, staring at one another with half lidded eyes filled with amazement.

Spencer was the first to speak.

“The storm’s passed.”

I listened carefully, unable to hear the drops of rain or cacophony of thunder. It was just the two of us, panting and wanting.

“I guess it worked,” I whispered to him with a hint of sadness in my voice. I wasn’t upset what had happened; I was upset it had come to its natural conclusion.

But our bodies were still entwined, the covers still hung over us like they were a shield to the world outside of this moment we shared.

“It’s… still dark.”

He said them so quietly I almost missed them. A smile spread across my swollen and well-kissed lips.

“Yeah, it is.” I replied, scooting my body closer and readjusting our arms so that I could rest my forehead against his chest.

“It’s gonna be until morning, so…” I reminded him, my fingers dragging along the skin of his back under his shirt.

“So… we should just…” he cleared his throat and gathered his courage.

“We should just s-stay like this? Until then?”

I nodded against him and felt the way his large hand spread against my back, gently rubbing the sensitive skin the same way I did to him.

Our legs slid against each other, locking our bodies like they were always meant to be rooted together. Basking in the glow of the aftermath, I was finally able to close my eyes without fear. 

“Goodnight, (y/n).”

“Goodnight, Spencer.”

I drifted off to sleep with this man wrapped around me, enveloping my body and the fears of our potential destruction. 

And I decided that I would be caught in a million storms if it meant he would hold me like this again.

I think I understand now, why we talk about love this way.


End file.
